Vote Fool in the General Election

The Tom Fool Party, Britain’s newest and most foolish political party, aims to bring the spirit of the great British jester into the 2010 election campaign. 

Tom Fool aka Thomas Skelton was the jester at Muncaster Castle near Ravenglass in the Lake District.  The current Fool of Muncaster and leader of the Tom Fool Party is Will Tease from Hebden Bridge in Yorkshire. 

Will Tease says: “We’ve decided that since most of the candidates of the other parties were big enough fools, what this election really needs was a level playing field so we’re putting ourselves forward to bring some levity to the campaign and to prick the pomposity of those who seek to govern us.  Together with my fellow Fools I have been trying to put together a manifesto which is even more ludicrous than the ones that have been published so far by other political parties. 

“As this has proved rather more difficult than we’d expected, we’ve decided simply to produce our own pledge card.  We believe that the 10 promises we are announcing today would solve most of this country’s current problems.  But if anyone has any other ideas for really foolish policies we’d be delighted to hear them and we’ll even offer a prize for the best one! 

“Our first promise is that if we win this election we will turn the Houses of Parliament into Britain’s biggest comedy club.  Overnight we would massively increase the number of people tuning into the Parliament Channel.   MPs would instead sit at Muncaster Castle, the home of Tom Fool, the man who is this inspiration for all real Fools.

“Anyone who has concerns about our current policies need fear not.  A new Fool of Muncaster and leader of the Tom Fool Party is elected every year following a rigorous selection procedure.  In fact I will oversee the election of my successor at the International Jester Tournament at Muncaster Castle just four weeks after the General Election on 3 June.”

One of the Fools who aspires to take on Will’s role is Jonathan the Jester from Salisbury who is also a spokesmen of the National Guild of Jesters and the Tom Fool Party’s Shadow Chancellor.  One of the party’s biggest Fools, he has devised the only convincing plan to pay off the country’s deficit.  He says: “Most politicians would sell their own grandmothers to get the chance to serve in parliament.  That is a GOOD thing.  But we would go even further and sell everybody else’s grandmothers. 

“Britain’s grandmothers lead the world.  For centuries we have produced the best nanas and by exporting grandmothers to people who need them more than we do, we could solve the deficit problem, with plenty of money left over to fund all our other promises.”

Jonathan the Jester will go head to head with five other real Fools at the International Jester Tournament at Muncaster Castle on 3 June.  The event will be the culmination of the Festival of Fools, when supporters of Tom Fool gather from all over the country for five days of madcap fun in celebration of the great jester.

The Fool of Muncaster and leader of the Tom Fool Party receives a crate of Jennings Cumberland Ale every month while they are in office.  However, the Tom Fool Party would like to reassure voters that these expenses are are absolutely essential to enable the Fool of Muncaster to perform their duties.   

The Tom Fool party is carrying out its own poll to find the most foolish politician from one of the other political parties.  Anyone can vote for their preferred candidate on the Tom Fool campaign website and the eventual winner will be invited to take part in the International Jester Tournament with a chance to become the next leader of the Tom Fool party!

You can also suggest more foolish policies by becoming a fan of Tom Fool on Facebook or following @TheTomFool on Twitter.  

Will Tease says: “Real Fools don’t take themselves too seriously, which is why, unlike all the other fools in this election, we won’t actually be putting up any candidates!  Nevertheless we’re still confident that we will emerge victorious on Election Day!”